The Naganoodle

What started as a simple food stand in the Doman Enclave has since exploded into a restaurant chain spanning several continents. From the streets of Kugane to the alleyways of the Goblet and even the newly reconstructed districts in Ishgard, one can easily locate the Naganoodle by following the obnoxious sign and telltale paper doors.Within lies something far more complex. Every detail within each location matches perfectly, from the wood grain patterns to the layout of each bottle on the shelves. Even more uncanny are the patrons who frequent the establishments—from layfolk to nobility to members of the Spoken tribes, and more.In reality, the entrances to the various Naganoodle chains are all gateways that lead to the same spot tucked away in some corner of the world. It's hardly a secret to the regulars, and if one can get over the initial shock of potentially winding up halfway across the world in a single footstep, they'll find themselves among friendly company.Those with keen senses for the supernatural will notice right away—many of the Noodle's guests move clumsily within their own skin. It's the telltale sign of one possessed of a glamour that they are not accustomed to. Behind the veneer of humanity one can find auspices, yokai, and kami alike gathered to enjoy a meal and mingle with those who would otherwise be ignorant to their presence.The Naganoodle serves as a neutral ground and safe space for those seeking protection and a locale to negotiate. Many deals are brokered within these four walls, with the eccentric owner himself often stepping in to mediate. Those who seek to disrupt the restaurant's good vibes will find themselves promptly ejected and barred.

All items are made to order and can be customized per your preferences at little to no extra charge.
Transactions are made with IC currency or bartering. Tip if you want.
I accept Spriggan Cookies and eggs of all varieties as compensation.

starters

pep talk

Blistered Koshu peppers skewered with
pan-grilled Nagxian beef. 30 gil.

onigrilli

Grilled rice balls glazed with a savory
miso coating. Comes with optional meat
or vegetable fillings. 45 gil.

deviled dodo

Deviled dodo eggs topped with fragrant,
savory finger shrimp and crawfish. 50 gil.

buttoned-up crab

Grilled button mushrooms stuffed with
baked crab meat. Looking fancy. 40 gil.

entrées

the mirage

The Naganoodle's house special, featuring your
choice of protein, soft-boiled eggs, bi fang chilis,
peeled Yanxian carrots, and the establishment's
signature ramen noodles in a tonkotsu broth. Said
to look so appetizing that it's akin to gazing
at an illusion. 290 gil.

fisherman's bounty

A hearty tomato stew chock-full of fresh Limsan
clams, mussels, shrimp, and cod. Served with a
crunchy slice of sourdough bread. Fills the
stomach, warms the soul. 250 gil.

the balance

Thick wheat noodles served with a savory black
bean sauce and thinly sliced cucumbers on the
side. Garnished with green onion and toasted
sesame seeds. For best results, don't let your
chopsticks drift too far from the bowl. 230 gil.

nice catch!

A marriage of Yanxian shrimp, clams, mussels,
and scallops with a flavorful buttery sauce. Piled
onto a bed of fresh linguine noodles before the entire
affair's spritzed with fresh lemon juice. 260 gil.

the katsu returns

Spicy miso ramen served with a thick slice of crispy,
juicy fried dodo. Where did the katsu go in the first
place? What matters is where it'll end up—inside your
belly. That's not too morbid, right? 210 gil.

fit for kings

Toasted brioche buns filled to the brim with buttery,
succulent king crab meat. Positively mouth-watering,
which is unsightly behavior to project in front of
nobility. We won't say anything. 340 gil.

do or udon't

Enjoy some stir-fried udon noodles and garlic
prawns as compenstaion for having to put up
with all of my puns. 250 gil.

tales of nephropidae

La Noscean lobster tails grilled over a wood fire
and brushed generously with a spicy and buttery
sauce. Don't eat the shell, or we'll be telling a
different tale by the time you come back. 435 gil.

my neighbor otoro

Bluefin tuna under-belly meat, beautifully
marbled and hand-prepared with the utmost
of care. Outside of Hingashi, it's quite the
rare cut. You can have five. 1050 gil.

desserts

cake of the day

Our proprietor is quite the baker too, y'know?
Ask us about today's cheesecake. 60 gil.

lime-sa lominsa

Dollops of tangy lime ice cream housed
in candied reproductions of their skin. 40 gil.

raindrop

This water drop cake is served with roasted soy bean
flour and black sugar syrup. Eat it quickly, before
it returns to the clouds. 20 gil.

dream waffles

Toasted waffles made with purple yam and sweet rice
flour. Light, fluffy, yet delightfully rich. 50 gil.

rolanberry cloudtop

A rolanberry mousse even made sweeter and
creamier with the addition of marshmallows
blended in. 25 gil.

the kaitoad special

Rings of fried dough coated with matcha frosting.
Shaped like a friend, kero. 25 gil.

stay jelly

Kanten gelatin squares filled with chunks of
your favorite fruits. Cool and refreshing. 30 gil.

the closer

True to its name, this cheesecake is so rich that you
might just pass out from a food coma on the spot after
cleaning your plate. A messy layer of hot chocolate syrup
allows for the bed of toasted marshmallows to stick to
the cake. And man, does it stick. 50 gil.

beverages

matcha-maker

An iced rose and hibiscus latte topped with
a generous layer of matcha. Yes, the
accompanying rose petals are edible. 60 gil.

the salthound

Your choice of gin, vodka, or sake mixed with
grapefruit juice in a vessel with a generously
salted rim. 80 gil.

shaken, then stirred

Dzo milk blended with syrup and ice cream. Sweet,
thick, and decadent. Flavors range from vanilla and
chocolate to matcha and more. Just ask! 40 gil.

bloody merlwyb

A spin on the classic Bloody Mary—if
you consider adding five dragon peppers
to the recipe a 'spin'. 65 gil.

grade six tincture of flavor

Water infused with your choice of fruits
and garnishes, made to order. 10 gil.

SEASONAL FAIRE

Unlimited supply, while supplies last.
You can never be too sure if an item's going to stick around,
so let your FOMO guide your wallet!
For legal purposes, this is a joke.

salmonsong

Fresh-caught salmon from our friends at the Sushi-Max
gets marinated with a garlic and citrus sauce
before being skewered and grilled to order.
Will not tempt your feet towards the bad. 250 gil.

Strung Along

Udon made with a peanut and garlic-based sauce.
Garnished with freshly crushed peanuts
and Emerald Beans. 250 gil.

tsuku(ne)yomi

Grilled Bi Fang meatballs skewered and
drizzled in the most delectably sweet Yanxian
soy sauce this side of the planet. 240 gil.

chococurry

No chocobos or Lalafell were harmed
in the making of this savory curry. And there's no
chocolate in the roux—unless you ask for some. 240 gil.

summer's spoils

Blistered cherry tomatoes and fresh summer
corn from Gyr Abania are the stars of this dish,
offering a unique sweetness that pairs well
with the dodo and bacon-based broth. 215 gil.

angler's delight

Grilled salmon, mango salad, and coconut rice
come together to offer a sweet, savory, and tangy experience
that does not literally scream summer, but probably
figuratively does. Don't look at me like that.
Are YOU a food whisperer? 240 gil.

shadebringer

One brings shadow, one brings light.
Conveniently colored passionfruit and lemon combine with
gin and white rum to create a bright, bold cocktail that
may or may not evoke a powerful emotional response. 70 gil.

Mixmix Swirlmix

The Illuminati's most well-guarded culinary secret, maybe.
A cool, sweet treat made of ice cream,
evaporated milk, beans, gelatin, flan,
and the answers to all of life's questions. 90 gil.

trinkets & services

Those who know the true nature of the establishment
may flip their menus upside-down to access the following
goods and services. Don't make a scene about it.No prices will be listed. Tell your story, then hear your fee.
Neither sales nor results are guaranteed.

a clean geta-way

Finding yourself harried by intrusive spirits or yokai?
Is there a group of onmyoji seeking to subdue you?
Drop these geta behind you and they'll run off in a
random direction. The clattering sound they emit is
far from comfortable and will debilitate anyone
stalking too closely.Whether you get away afterwards is up to you.

kintsukuroi

Have a broken heirloom in need of repair?
If you're not averse to a little gold, I can help.
There's beauty in our imperfections, yes?
Then the same can be said for those of our treasures.

shimenawa

If you find your place of residence a
magnet for the malign, wrap this rope
taut around a pillar or banister. Those
harboring ill intent will be discouraged by
the aetheric presence housed within the threads.
Those who attempt to intrude regardlesss
will be discouraged by the aetheric barrier
these ropes project.

shikigami

If persuasion and evasion will not suffice, I
would lend you the aid of my friends to fend
off those who would do you harm. Simply carry
these origami animals on your person or place
them in your home, and the spirits within will
make themselves known when you are in danger.They will protect you, in my stead.

consultations

Perhaps your problem is one that can't
be solved overnight. I understand. Life's
complicated like that. Tell me what's
troubling you. It'll be strictly
confidential, I promise.From lingering souls of the departed to
mediating a conflict between you and an
auspice, you'll find me well-equipped to
handle a great number of issues.

kagutsuchi mirage

- A staff member is not required to moderate this game.
- Upon agreeing to partake in this game, the challenger will be treated to a bowl of The Mirage... loaded with some seventy Dragon Peppers ground and infused into the broth. The Namazu who comes to serve it is usually on fire in some way or form.
- To win a free meal and your character's name on this page, they must survive five rounds of /random dice rolls without soothing the burn, fainting, throwing up, or otherwise surrendering. The criteria to pass each round increases as per the table below.
- If during any round a player rolls 975 or higher, they will immediately win the game.
- You are free to emote how your character overcomes or falls to this challenge. Remember, it's hot.

Survivors
Shae "Ash" of the Borlaaq
M'nali Suno

the oni bowl

- A staff member must be present to moderate this game.
- The challenger is served a main entree of their choice... served in a bowl that could easily fit two adult Lalafell inside its depths. Appropriately-sized chopsticks and spoons are also presented.
- If the bowl is emptied within half a bell (in character, not real-time), the character will receive the meal for free and have their names recorded here for posterity.
- They can keep the bowl and utensils, too!
- At the start of each turn, the player and staff member will roll a d8. (Use /random 8 in say chat to roll!)
- If the player's roll is within one digit of the staff member's roll, they earn a point (ex. if the staff member rolls 6, a 5 or 7 from the player will earn a point).
- If the player's roll is outside of that one digit range, they will earn a strike (ex. if the staff member rolls 6, 1-4 or 8 from the player will earn a strike).
- If the player rolls the same number as the staff member, they may choose to either earn two points or clear all their strikes.
- If the player earns three points, they will finish their food in time and win the game. If they earn three strikes, it's game over! They're stuffed!
- Have a fun time emoting through the experience!

Conquerors
Tamashi Elritz
Shae "Ash" of the Borlaaq
Caelrin Morra

as an aside...

Participation in these dice games is optional.If you are not a fan of dice-based systems and you know it won't be fun for you on an out of character level if your character loses, don't force yourself to play!However, if you do opt-in to play, play and have fun. These games were designed to be statistically difficult to win. If your character loses, it's not because I designed my games to take a dump on their innate skills for eating or tolerating spices or whatever. Take it on the chin and find a creative way to spin it into an entertaining experience. This is a roleplaying mini-game, not a hardcore competitive event.If you can't manage that, please save yourself (and me and my staff) the headache by referring to paragraphs one (1) and two (2)!Thank you.

terms & conditions

Like any other respectable establishment,
patrons are expected to abide by the rules—
else, they can find another place to eat.All rules are in character and can be found posted on flyers that read in any language.
As for out of character stuff: just don't be a jerk. This is a roleplay venue. Have fun.

- You will not publicize the 'unique characteristics' of the Naganoodle. If you know, you know. Don't spread rumors.
- You will not bear arms while dining at the Naganoodle. Our Namazu will store your weapons in a secure location when you enter.
- You will not bother other patrons under the pretense of their origin or species. Everyone is here to dine or do business. Leave them be.
- You will not start fights or cause disruptions to service. If you think you can brazenly wield spellcraft in my domain, I have bad news for you.
- You will not antagonize anyone who might be your enemy on the streets. This is a neutral ground.
- You will not give the Namazu tea. Seriously, it intoxicates them and drunk workers are a danger to themselves and others.
- You will be expelled from the Naganoodle with prejudice if you are found breaking the rules.
- You will be found if you are breaking the rules.

A few lines are penned at the bottom of this list,
enchanted so that only spirits or other supernatural
beings may perceive them. Or nosy mages with
superb mastery in decrypting wards.

- As was explained to you by the kami at the front entrance, you must be glamoured at all times within the Naganoodle if you wish to dine.
- You must keep the hexed festival masks given to you bound to your body or aether at all times. Failure to do so will dispel the glamour magicks I've sewn into the masks and it will be very embarrassing for all of us.
- You may not eat my mortal guests. You may not eat my employees.
- Mortal flesh substitutions for dishes may be negotiated in private. Do not ask for these accommodations aloud at the risk of disrupting service or alarming guests unaware of your true nature.
- Meals may be arranged as offerings at your request for no charge.

Hi there! Thanks for browsing your way through the Naganoodle.I host events at an irregular pace, so if you'd like to stay abreast of things, please join our Discord using this link!I'd like to thank one (1) Rinalys Dawnstar of Balmung for her help in designing and decorating the Naganoodle. Thanks, nerd.